DEAR ABBY: My daughter-in-law, "Brooke," lost her grandfather five weeks ago. She has chosen not to tell her 4- and 10-year-old kids about it. She has ordered my husband, me and our son not to mention it. The kids see her grandmother at least once a week, and SHE is not supposed to tell them either.
I didn't know the kids hadn't been told and I started to say something at a family dinner. The 10-year-old heard me, and I got shushed. I'm mad at the whole situation. Brooke refuses to tell them "until she's ready," and I couldn't disagree more. I understand her grief. I have lost grandparents and parents. The services won't be for several weeks. I understand she can't deal with the loss yet, but denying her kids the truth only delays her grieving process and also doesn't allow them their time to grieve and process.