Last week, I met one of my mom\u2019s friends for the first time. Upon learning that I\u2019m a senior, she looked at me with eyes that I thought read, \u201cJulia, I am so sorry that everybody\u2019s asking you where you\u2019re going next year when they know very well you probably won\u2019t know for a few months, so I\u2019ll spare you the \u2018I don\u2019t know yet\u2019 and I won\u2019t ask you at all. Instead, I\u2019ll ask you how the play was or how your brother likes college or if you\u2019re doing anything over break.\u201dI was so excited! Amidst my senior year, an adult was going to ask me how I was outside of the whole world of college. But, oh, how wrong I was. Instead of just asking me where I was going, which I promptly answered with \u201cI don\u2019t know yet,\u201d she followed it with, \u201cso you didn\u2019t get in anywhere?\u201d \u201cNo, I actually haven\u2019t heard back from anywhere yet.\u201d She laughed politely. \u201cI bet that\u2019s your biggest fear.\u201dRight now, it is. Some part of my brain managed to make me think that because none of my schools have notification dates before Dec. 20, I won\u2019t get into any of them. So I decided to do what I like to call \u201cbranching out and exploring my options,\u201d or what my family calls \u201cJulia is going insane.\u201dIt was nearly midnight on a Friday. I had plans that night, but I\u2019d canceled. I was very, very, busy; busy feeling my sanity slowly slip away from me. A wave of panic had overcome me, and I was drowning in an ocean of \u201cwhat ifs.\u201d What if school X, that I\u2019ve never considered, is perfect, but I have no idea because I\u2019ve never been there? Or what if school Y is everything I could ever want but it just never crossed my mind until now? Suddenly, my list of 11 schools expanded to a list of 34, with schools of 1,000 undergraduates in New England to schools of 20,000 in California to schools of 70,000 in Canada. All 22 of the college tours I\u2019d been on seemed pointless. There were too many what ifs. When I woke up the next morning, the thick smog had cleared my mind. I got rid of the huge Canadian schools. I hate the cold, and I hate big schools, so why would that make any sense? I was making progress. I then got rid of the schools that require perfect grades and perfect test scores that the night before I had called \u201creaches,\u201d but now I realized were just a waste of time and money. I was regaining sanity, and my sense of self.There\u2019s always going to be a never-ending supply of \u201cwhat ifs\u201d in my life. What if my family had never moved away from where I was born in Reno? What if I had stuck with soccer instead of quitting in fifth grade? What if my path never crossed with my best friend and we never met? The possibilities are endless. I can only control what happens to me to a certain extent, and the rest is just \u201cwhat if.\u201d What if I don\u2019t get into my top school, or what if I don\u2019t get in anywhere? Well, if either of those happens, I\u2019ll be just fine. I\u2019ll just take a new road I wasn\u2019t planning on taking. It\u2019s overwhelming, and I\u2019ve never had an opportunity like this to start my whole life over, but whatever happens, I\u2019m going to be just fine. Life is chaotic \u2014 but at the end of the day, we\u2019re going to be OK. Julia Foodman is a senior at Wilton High School.\u00a0She shares this column with four classmates.