Well, we’re here. The most wonderful time of the year. We’re nearly arrived at the most celebrated event of the school year. More important than FCIAC finals. Better attended than Prom. Even more cherished than Senior Skip Day.

The one thing we’ve been working for, yearning for, since the first day of school:

Vacation!

The Go-Go’s had it right when they crooned that it’s “all they ever wanted.”

The tradition of spring break is rooted in one of the lesser known Greek gods, Delta. Son of Travelocitus, gnome to the gods, and Redeemess, goddess of mileage points, spring break began when Delta stowed away on his parents’ flight to Crete and spent an epic week sleeping late and frolicing on the beach with Circe and various swine.

There are two options for spring break. The “staycation” is the favorite of many because most of the time luggage does not get lost.

For hearty adventurers, the more popular choice is to leave the comfort of home, pack your favorite swimwear and make plans for the most thrilling experience known to man:

Waiting.

Delay is a travel ritual, well-practiced by all. Before you can even leave, you’re inevitably waiting for your parents to painstakingly go through each suitcase before remembering that they packed their phone in their carry-on. As you begin your journey, whether you drive or fly, rest assured you will land in traffic. Consider this a gift — a chance to enjoy fun family activities, such as bickering over the radio station, bickering over the volume of your headphones as you try to drown out the radio station, and bickering over who will get the window seat on the flight if you ever get to the airport. Good times!

Once you make it to, say, JFK International Airport, you will encounter another tried and true vacation staple: airport security. Try not to glare at those lucky, golden few who have TSA Precheck. They float through their lane, humming, freshly ironed, smiling, with a cute toddler that never cries. You, however, trudge slowly through an endless labyrinth, surrounded by a herd of tourists wearing oversized pajama bottoms. As you near the end, just as you think are you are free, the person in front of you spends 10 minutes digging through suitcases to find his or her ID, only to realize that it was left at home.

After you trudge through security, you finally make it to the gate — 10 minutes prior to boarding! But at least you’ve made it! On time! Which can only mean one thing!

Your flight is delayed.

So, you wait some more. There will be an obligatory trip to the convenience store to buy a water bottle that costs more than your ticket. Then, finally, finally, you can get on the plane.

Once you board your flight, you’re ready to go!

Not really. First, there is the tradition of sitting on the tarmac for reasons unknown. It could be that you need something called “de-icing.” If this happens in June, assume your pilot is stalling. Alternatively, there might be 27 planes ahead of you waiting to take off. Whoever designed the airport apparently did not appreciate that more than one plane might fly on a single day.

But you’ve made it. It’s been worth the wait, and you’re off to find your bliss. As the plane finally takes off, you climb high into the air, leaving all your troubles behind you. Along with your toothbrush, which you have only just remembered is on your bathroom counter. Bon voyage!


Maggie Cummins is a senior at Wilton High School. She shares this column with five classmates.