Warrior Words: The true meaning behind senior superlatives

On Monday morning, March 9, two pieces of chart paper were posted in “The Jungle” — the area dominated by seniors during their free periods, presenting the results of the Senior Superlative votes. Best legs, best looking, Mr. and Mrs. Fairfield County — were just some of the awards revealed to much anticipation. Of course, the posting of this list drew a huge crowd as everyone was excited to see who had won, and if anyone that they had voted for was victorious.
Although it should seem pretty straightforward what the meaning behind each superlative is — for example, Best Legs means the guy and girl with the most sculpted and model-like legs — I believe the thought process each student goes through in choosing who they think should win is much more extensive than that. So, I give you a peek behind the curtain of how seniors typically choose who should win each superlative.
Best Smile: someone who, over the years, has flashed their pearly whites and all of a sudden you forgot what you are doing. You were always pretty envious of the perfection of their teeth — you have had the thought for that split second: are they even real? I guess we’ll never really know. Best Desert Island Companion: someone you feel you could tolerate for long amounts of time, and someone who you know definitely knows how to make a fire. Let’s be real, you are basically mentally saving yourself from starvation, hypothermia, etc., by choosing these two people. Choose wisely, and stay alive.
Couple That Never Was: the two people that have caused you physical pain by not getting together. It’s so clear! You’re in love! Put me out of my suffering and just date already! Class Clown: people who have enough guts to make teachers look goofy. Yes, they are always hilarious, but if your audience consists of high school kids, the majority of their jokes are more than likely targeted at people of authority to make the day go by that much smoother. Mr. and Mrs. Fairfield County: people who you are sure could not own any more Vineyard Vines. First to Hit the Senior Slump: someone you admire for indulging in the lazy wonderfulness that is the senior slump early — perhaps even during junior year. Most Likely to Be a Millionaire: one of your friends who you know has the potential to make some serious dough, and be a  generous human being (wink).
Mr. and Mrs. Perfect. Let’s face it, voting for these two people is no walk in the park. You feel a little envious and begrudging toward them because they are perfect, but you just cannot help putting their name down, because they are perfect. Most Changed Since Freshman Year: someone you applaud for pulling out of their awkward stage so magnificently. Most of the time, you cannot even recognize them after their transformation. Most Likely to Be Famous: someone who reminds their friends all the time that they are famous, and complains about the paparazzi every time someone’s phone camera is pointed in their direction. I know this, because you just happen to be reading the words of Most Likely to Be Famous 2015. Remember this name, people.
Senior Superlatives are an exciting, hilarious, and interesting kickoff into the few final months of the seniors’ time at the high school. Voting for superlatives truly is a tradition that is a rite of passage for students, and not to mention a memorable one. Although choosing who should win each superlative may require some extensive thought, the memories are definitely worth the struggle.

Jackie Cooke is a senior at Wilton High School. She shares this column with four classmates.