Dear 8th Grade Olivia,
Unfortunately, young Oliver, you either did not hand in your “Letter to My Future Self” to Mrs. Rubin or she is being very coy and not returning it to you. In any case, Mrs. Rubin says can’t find your letter in her box of all the other letters, or in the surrounding closet, or in any other year’s box. While you were inspired to respond to this letter like Tyus Southern did last year, you will be merely operating from a vague idea of how you once wrote and acted and what your dreams were, and even more vague ideas of what your family and friends said about you. Turn in that letter goshdarnit, I’m a curious girl!