The election results are in and we’re left with the unsettling reality that some of you, our neighbors, will now be representing us in office. Starting this month, you’ll be making some very important decisions; I’d like to take a moment to share some thoughts regarding your new position.
First of all, congratulations on receiving the majority of votes from those citizens who bothered to show up on Election Day. Do yourself a favor: add up the total number of votes you earned, then divide them by the total number of available voters in your region. Depressing, right? (And you were the winner!) More importantly, look at the large percentage of people who didn’t vote for you. This will be an important number to remember later on when you fool yourself into thinking you were given office by Divine Right.