Ah, March. I often feel that the third month of the year is underappreciated by most of the public. There’s no federal holidays, and, without a major threat of snow, students are facing four whole, grueling weeks of school. But, dear readers, March isn’t so bad! In fact, there’s much to celebrate during this seemingly mundane month.
Take Pi Day, for example. No, that is not misspelled. This is not a day for apple, peach or blueberry treats. Rather, this is a day for something far sweeter: Math! Yes, March is the month where we pay homage to the most irrational of numbers. On 3/14 math geeks everywhere rejoice! Without it, where would we be? All the best things come in circles: pizza, donuts, cake. The list is infinite. Just like Pi.
For those of us who are not math-inclined, have no fear. Instead, you might concentrate on a more prominent holiday for sports fans. The festival of “March Madness” showcases our nation’s strong pride and devotion through illegal gambling and excessive consumption of chicken wings. The phrase has its roots in the Latin “ensee double ay” which translates literally as “he who face paints.” The festival involves something called “brackets” which are usually “busted” by the “sweet sixteen round” at which point the office receptionist is informed that she has a won a significant amount of cash. Wisely, she chose her brackets based on one of two mandatory criteria: the team mascot or uniform color.
Now, if sports is not your thing, March is still versatile enough to please everyone. Consider trading a month-long marathon of endless basketball for a single day of revelry: St Patrick’s Day! This holiday is rooted in a plucky priest who drove away some snakes. Where to? No one knows. Perhaps that’s where the bagpipes come in, because no snake in their right mind is going to hang around listening to that. But it does explain the drinking. Anyone who has to single-handedly exterminate reptiles from an island would deserve a beer. Or 40. Did you know that St. Patrick’s Day is the day where emergency services gets the most calls for pinch-related injuries? Personally, I would have expected there to be more instances of short people getting fed up with being called leprechauns, but I digress.
For those of us under the age of 21, the Ides of March might be more suitable than St Paddy’s Day. This holiday requires no action whatsoever except pretending you have read Julius Caesar without falling asleep. Be sure to quote the famous speech: “Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your Ides of March.” Or something like that. Just say it with conviction and your audience won’t care.
Of course, I’ve left some holidays out — the beginning of spring, Daylight Saving Time, etc. Fittingly, the International Day of Happiness is in March. So, readers, don’t just brush it off as an annoying month of nothing. There’s plenty to do. Make the most of this month. Find something to celebrate. Personally, I’m counting down the days until the two most important of all: National Puppy Day and National Waffle Day! Happy March!
Maggie Cummins is a senior at Wilton High School. She shares this column with five classmates.